Hi Martyna,
Hope you are well. Lach & I both really enjoyed and benefited from your Calmbirth course back in July. I used a variety of techniques touched on in the course to prepare myself in pregnancy and to use in labour.
Particularly in the 3rd trimester I focussed on mental and physical preparation for birth. I did some kind of meditation or breathing exercise daily, such as practising my Calmbirth breathing with my own labour & birth playlist playing. I visualised the birth each day, exactly as I hoped it would unfold. I was mobile, going for 1 or 2 walks a day until the day I went into labour. I used my birth ball lots, bouncing and leaning on it each night while watching tv. I chose to only ever lay on my sides in the 3rd trimester, and avoided laying on my back or in reclining positions completely. My husband Lach supported me in practising the Spinning Babies balances each evening from 20 weeks. At 34 weeks I saw Fiona Hallinan for internal release work, and from then on practised my own version of internal release/perineal massage each night.
Prior to labour commencing I set up spaces in our home that would be conducive to a calm labour and birth environment. I placed photos & affirmations in places I would see them - above our bed frame, in the toilet, by the shower. Where our birth pool would be set up, I had fairy lights, candles, affirmations, photos & a birth altar. The altar featured sentimental items given to me as tokens of strength by birthing women in our family - my sister, my mother, my best friend. A reminder that if they can do this, I can too.
Early labour began on a Monday evening at 40+4 where contractions felt mild and manageable. Once I felt like I needed to, I started breathing through, and using a variation of Calmbirth breathing that felt right to me. A big breath in my nose and a very slow exhale through my mouth. My breathing became my anchor through the next 36 hrs of contractions that were to come. I put my TENS on, which for me didn’t help with the pain, but felt like a slight distraction from it. Each time I felt a contraction commence, I would choose an affirmation that resonated with me, and repeat it over and over in my head while I breathed, which I found extremely helpful through all of the early labour. Each contraction I also focussed on releasing tension, reminding myself over and over each contraction to relax my brow, my shoulders, my pelvic floor. I diffused clary sage & lavender to help promote labour progression and keep myself calm. I played music and used dim lighting. My husband supported me beautifully, making sure I was well fed and hydrated, speaking encouraging words & reminding me to empty my bladder frequently.
By the following morning contractions had spaced out, and self doubt crept in about the labour progress & why things weren’t progressing. We had a visit from our lovely private midwife, who gave us the most beautiful reassurance and encouraged us to go on with our day as usual, and reminded us that labour will find me - I don’t need to find it. After her checks on me and baby, I sat down while she did some acuneedling to help promote labour. She also left me with a labour herbal tonic to take every half hour.
Contractions continued all day Tuesday, but I didn’t notice an increase in intensity until the evening came around again. Things picked up a notch, and I relied heavily on my breathing to get me through. I used movement, intuitively and laboured in positions that felt right, and naturally these changed as labour progressed. Even as the contractions took my entire focus to get through, I felt I could think clearly & rationally in between them. Interestingly, I never felt like I entered “labour land,” & I felt like my frontal cortex never truly switched off. I wonder if perhaps this was my midwife brain not allowing it to! As a result, I continued to believe I was in early labour for much longer than I probably was!
Later in the evening I hopped in the shower, and loved the relief that the warm water gave. However our hot water ran out quickly, and so by midnight I returned to using my TENS, heatpack & birth comb. At 2am Wednesday morning my waters broke. They were nice and clear, and I knew this was a good sign that things were progressing despite my midwife brain convincing myself I was STILL in early labour! Once they broke the contractions ramped up to another new intensity that I had not experienced yet. I got back in the shower, as it became harder and harder to focus on my breathing, and instead I felt the need to vocalise throughout contractions. I felt my body taking over, and began noticing in myself sounds and behaviours that I had observed in labouring women before, in particular as they get close to full dilation.
I decided it was time to get my husband to call in our midwife & fill up the birth pool. Once I got in the pool around 3am, panic began to set in, and I said to my husband “I’m going to have a baby.” I felt like something had changed quickly and felt panicked about the prospect of our midwife (who was an hours drive away) not making it in time for the birth. I think this was likely the beginning of transition. He phoned our midwife again, who reassured me calmly and beautifully that she would be there in time. She asked me to feel inside to see if I could feel baby’s head, and I could, but it was a safe distance away. Once she arrived, I had a huge vomit and I knew this was a sign I was probably fully dilated, or close to it!
I struggled the most with the next few hours. The intensity of the contractions felt unmatched and I needed to yell and vocalise to get through them. The noises I made felt instinctual & primal, rather than coming from a place of fear or lack of control. It was like my body took over, and made the noises it needed to in order to cope with the increasing intensity. My husband used counter pressure on my hips with each contraction which helped relieve the pain & sensation of my hips opening. After a couple of hours, my body continued to take over as it began to involuntarily push, and my vocalisation changed to become deep and guttural. I pushed for just under an hour. The crowning of the head was very slow and controlled, and I had my hands on my perineum to feel how slowly to push. Baby’s shoulders came more slowly than my midwife brain would have liked, and panic set in, but they came.
At 8.12am Wednesday morning I brought our baby up to my chest, they were quiet and purple, but our midwives had prepared us that this was normal for a water birth. Our midwives watched and gave us the space to meet our baby without any sense of urgency or panic. I blew on baby’s face, and rubbed their back, almost instinctively and they let out an enormous cry. The joy and relief was unmatched. I held them up, to find out that we were parents to a beautiful baby girl. “I always knew you were a girl” was what I exclaimed through tears. It was a moment and feeling like no other. The rest of the experience was uncomplicated - normal blood loss, intact perineum (yay!!) despite her weighing in at 4.1kg & a physiological 3rd stage about half an hour after birth. Our breastfeeding journey has been wonderful thus far, my mental health has been great and I truly believe much of this is a flow on effect from a positive birth experience. I feel very fortunate!
I think both my husband and I would agree that Calmbirth made a huge difference to our labour experience. He knew exactly how to support me & wasn’t afraid or panicked by the intensity of the labour. I used the tools we learned to also support myself - which ultimately helped lead to a more positive labour and birth experience. I never had a notable “crisis of confidence” and I think that’s because I was well prepared, well supported and because my place of birth didn’t allow me any other option than to surrender to what I was experiencing. Even when it felt unbearable, I had no choice but to go on! But at the same time, I never once doubted my capability. In the end, my baby and I together achieved our dream birth - exactly as I had manifested and envisioned it for so long. I could not be happier!
Regards,
Chelsea
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